Eyyyy yehet it's the holidays for me!!
One month of holidays which means more stories but I'm sorry I kinda have a schedule to stick to and I won't be updating or writing until about a week later so I'm sorry.
But anyway there's a shit ton of homework and group projects and I hate school so much omfg I just want to smack the shit out of people. Yeah, people.
So anyway I reread my private blog yesterday and I felt like I was so creative back then but now that creativity is just gone and POOFED away but I have inspiration to write because of a thing that happened. A THING. I'll be writing a new oneshot based on that.
Also I really don't understand where everybody's basic courtesy and respect is like jesus christ you fucking bitches really need to learn a lesson and you wouldn't know what basic respect is until it slaps you in the face with a truck, which I'll be MORE THAN GLAD to do.
I just really want to beat certain people up. I'm disappointed in myself for making a certain decision and basically welcoming a thief inside my home and telling her to make herself comfy and making tea and lunch for her. Honestly I welcomed hell inside my life willingly because I was stupid. BUT STILL NOT REGRETTING ANYTHING THO.
Hehehe you fuckers better watch out.
So as you guys know it's been a week since my last post.. And honestly I slightly regret that last post.
After writing that post and jokingly saying I would kick Kris to the galaxy, I found out the news. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, the news thingy-majig.
I have honestly never felt more guilty in my life (no I'm kidding I always feel guilty after I blurt out something that hurt my friends). I felt as though I should've known about this lawsuit, there were signs, and I was really so, so, so stupid not to tell what was going to happen.
Did I know this was going to happen before it was announced? In a way, yes, I did know.
A day before the news was a released, I had a dream... A really weird dream where xxx (I can't tell you guys who it is because if my dream comes true... everybody is going to freak out) from EXO died and I was blaming Kris for it. When I woke up, I felt really odd and tingly but I brushed it off and thought 'oh c'mon girl this ain't one of yo freaky precognition nightmares again I mean c'mon everybody's healthy as a herd of horses there ain't nobody gon die man' (I literally think with so much slang, I'm not kidding) and that dream was a sign. I'm serious. For the rest of the day I felt like something was off but I just ignored it cos like maybe I forgot to brush my teeth exactly 3 times that morning maybe it was 4 times or something so yeah. (I'm kinda OCD when it comes to my daily routines but it's not severe and serious so don't worry)
And I had seen that video where Kris was crying and cheering at the end of a performance and suddenly clutched his heart. I had seen it, but yet again, I was ignorant and brushed it off thinking that his mind was probably like 'damn these feels, my heart is so full of feels for the fans, I can't- I can't, I love you guys man, these feels OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD' and that was why he was clutching his heart.
But if I have to be honest with you guys... before my assumption that it was just feels, I jokingly thought that he reminded me of one of those guys in those dramas that have heart attacks and clutch at their chest desperately when they hear that their daughter-in-law had an affair (lol a million dramas have this plot I swear). I JOKINGLY THOUGHT SO.
In a way I feel like I should've seen the signs, I should've been so much nicer to him in my mind, I should've loved him so much more, I shouldn't have practically cursed him with this fate, I should have done so many things.
But now, let's clear our minds of everything I've revealed on top.
I cannot regret what I've done, because what's the use of regretting? Is that going to turn the clock back to where we first started? And just like everybody says, yolo. You only live once. Am I supposed to regret all this, all these memories Kris has created for us? Am I supposed to regret my actions? No, I'm not supposed to.
These are my thoughts and actions, nobody else's. I cannot, and will not, regret my actions and thoughts. Yes, I agree what I did was wrong, but simply regretting things does not change the course of fate and the future, therefore I do not regret anything.
All I know is that I believe in Kris. No, not 'stay strong Kris', because he's not dying yet. He is still young and I know he'll get through everything. Will believing in Kris change his future? No, it won't, but I'm sure he'll be glad to know that no matter what happens to him, he always has our support. I'll always cheer him on.
And I am terribly sorry at how much I used to dislike him in the past for all the Kray and Krisyeol moments and just forgetting about our poor Tao.
I love that guy.
I'm not going to regret all those things I wanted to do to him for neglecting Tao. I am going to be glad that I learnt a lesson, that he taught me a lesson I NEVER thought I'd ever learn. I am glad I can brush off all the worries of Krisyeol and Kray. I am glad I have re-newed my trust and faith for him. I am glad that I've learnt this lesson, because I've bounced back stronger than before.
Same goes for this fandom.
Though I don't necessarily like some of the things people are saying about one member or another in this entire thingy-majig, I respect everyone's opinions and I think that's what matters. As long as we believe in each other, or believe in our opinions (if you're hating on a particular member(s)), we'll bounce back stronger than before once everything blows over.
Rain comes before a rainbow. (this is probably the weirdest way of phrasing that sentence-quote thing ever)
So yeah, that's sorta my opinion on this matter.
I want to tell you guys more about my thoughts and stuff, but I know a few fans who say we shouldn't talk about this thing and contribute to the mess and arguments without Kris or SM telling us what exactly happened.
But let me remind you that there are two sides to every coin.
Let that quote bury itself into the depths of your mind, because I want you to know that no matter what Kris, EXO or SM says about this entire ordeal, they are just telling you one side of this story. You'll need to put yourself in everyone's shoes, which is almost impossible unless you're an octopus that has like 13+ feet/legs or something. Yeah.
Mmm that's pretty much the gist of what I wanted to say. I really wish I could tell you guys more but I don't think it'll be right for me to. I know some of you guys can't handle bottling everything up inside you, so if you want, you can tell me your views and opinions on this thing, and if you disagree with what I said in this blogpost, let's chat calmly and come to an agreement or midpoint thing about this entire situation. Let's all just chat and have like one big party or something, because that sounds fun.
Also, I'm a little creeped out that some of you guys are interested in my age. I'm sorry I can't tell you my age, but if you want to, you can go to my ask.fm (link is in the link section of my blog at the right or something) and you can find a picture of me and my sister, and a few photos of my friends, you can guess my age from those pictures. Anyway, I'm somewhere between 13-16. Yup, I'm a young little piece of shit. (Not everybody among those ages are pieces of shit I'm sorry for that but I'M a piece of swaggy crap. Not everybody I know is swaggy crap tho.)
It's nice that you guys are so interested in getting to know me better, but two things I won't reveal are my name and age, but you guys can find out if you go to ask.fm because y'know... My friends and personal info are just there on my wall man. If you're interested, everything you're allowed to know is all there. I'm sorry but I'm not the kind that would... like, idk. Reveal everything about myself, unless you start chatting to me and when I trust you enough I'll tell you what you wanna know if you ask really nicely.
One last thing.
Just believe in Kris and EXO alright?
Don't doubt them awesome people.
Love you guys and have a great day ahead.
-AdoruZiall xoxo
Guuuuys I just read an angsty Taoris and Krisyeol fic do you know the feeeeels
My kokoro is broken into a thousand tiny pieces
And there was a link to Krisyeol proof that I somehow clicked on it and I was raging so hard
Do you know how possessive I am over Kris
If he hurts Tao's dokidoki kokoro I will kick him into the galaxy and pray he gets sucked in by a black hole
haha kidding
Do you knooooooow how boring holidays are
I don't like holidays
I dread them holidays
I don't want to sleep
I want money
I want a friend
I feel like I'm constantly playing a game in life called 'wheres my friend' because do you know how hard it is for me to contact any of my friends much less go out with them
And then when i go out alone i want to go back home to sulk but it's useless I'm craving starbucks and HOTD S2 that will never come out
I want to watch EXO interviews but I feel like I'll smash the screen into pieces if I see one more Krisyeol interaction after reading that fic
Oh btw Hold My Hand will be updated soon after I'm done with Part 2 which will probably be the last and final part
And it's so sad
You guys might cry or something idk I don't think I've cried over any EXO fics i've written yet but I remember crying while I wrote a few 1D fics
Ohhhhhh snap
No punctuation throughout this whole post I'm sorry
I'm in a shitty and blank mood honestly
Help
AdoruZiall out
Guuuuys I actually uploaded Of Strawberry Milk Tea ermahgahd guys do you understand the importance of this
I actually uploaded something on time
Even though i was late by a week but still.
Considering how often I wait for people, it's about damn time I make people wait for me B)
(No seriously tho I had like 6 meetups with my friends for the previous 4 weeks and ALL 6 TIMES I HAVE TO WAIT FOR LIKE AN HOUR???)
Gee thanks guys real punctual man fucking hell
BUT ANYWAY.
even though I don't sound like it, I am actually pretty sad right now because a couple is currently trolling me so hard right now, SHIT IS DONE WITH GOOGLE, and I want to flip the bird at several people. Actually, more than 10 people.
I'm more angry than sad but stilllllllll you guys know what this means right
Oh Sefuckinghun dundunduuuuuun
His arc for College Beverage!AU will be written tonight because I'm feeling like him throughout the entire fic right now.
BUT YOU GUYS PROBABLY WON'T SEE IT UNTIL A MONTH AND A HALF LATER LOL DO YOU EVEN SEE HOW MUCH I PROCRASTINATE I'M SORRY.
And I've yet to browse Youtube for the day so I'm sad about that too
But Youtube will make me happy so I'm not going to watch any Youtube vids just so I can do a better job of writing the intro for Sehun's arc of the story T~T I actually really need to get into a shitty mood and lash out at everybody that comes near me before I write his story because it's so depressing and sad
But I love his story a lot omfg you guys will love it too
But I still Luhan's part of the story best I'm sorry I made him into a jerk man
He's still the twinkly-eyed deer in your hearts, right?
Adios for now!
-AdoruZiall xoxo
Also I can't stand blogs with basic backgrounds and colours, like I know mine might be 20% basic but it's simple and classy so deal with it
Fucking sass man ｡◕‿◕｡
Also ask me a question on my ask . fm if you feel like it cos I'm bored and my newsfeed is not full of my fave people and YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS!
