Week 45: Tell em it's my birthday

Loooooool what no.

No guys. Not my birthday. Thank god.

Guys I can't. Everybody is forcing me to make a decision?? I can't. 

I really want to cuss out everyone and everything and then like just scream in 1000 volumes of agony. Because fuck, I may be slightly not very smart but everybody be treating me like I'm a 5 year old kid! Just, omg, no. 

School starts in a few days. I am going to live in agony and loneliness and pain and sadness. Thanks school. Thanks for forcing me to study so hard and claw at my brain desperately for answers. Worse thing is that I've barely done any group projects at all and I'm the leader for one of them and I just, I hate getting scolded. It's not my fault, it's not like I didn't even try. I tried but things just always go wrong, idk. 

Also. Birthdays. I really don't want my birthday to come. Nobody's going to celebrate it with me anyway and even if they it'll feel so insincere and forced. Like they have an obligation to celebrate with me. Please don't. I'm fucking done with birthdays. It's just a normal day. When I graduate I'm probably never ever going to tell anybody else when my birthday is so I can avoid all the fake messages and hugs and stuff. Except for job interviews where I'm required to state my date of birth. But still, just no.

Hate my birthday. I don't want anybody to make an effort. I've practically spent every single birthday like any other normal day or I just get all sad and mopey. It's bullshit, really. Just another day of my life, yay, I'm one year closer to death. Thanks for reminding me.

And people really need to keep their priorities straight. Unless you're Tao, I'm not buying you Gucci because you're going to stab me in the back from the front (doesn't make sense to you, but this has happened to me so many times before). And I really doubt you're Tao.

And if you are Tao... Just, no. What even are the odds.

My Taoris feels are exploding lately. Who says Taoris is a dead ship? >:(

Lately choices have been thrown at me. For the first time in a long time, I think I may actually be regretting this life I chose.