Week 41: Holidays and stuff!

Eyyyy yehet it's the holidays for me!! 

One month of holidays which means more stories but I'm sorry I kinda have a schedule to stick to and I won't be updating or writing until about a week later so I'm sorry. 

But anyway there's a shit ton of homework and group projects and I hate school so much omfg I just want to smack the shit out of people. Yeah, people.

So anyway I reread my private blog yesterday and I felt like I was so creative back then but now that creativity is just gone and POOFED away but I have inspiration to write because of a thing that happened. A THING. I'll be writing a new oneshot based on that. 

Also I really don't understand where everybody's basic courtesy and respect is like jesus christ you fucking bitches really need to learn a lesson and you wouldn't know what basic respect is until it slaps you in the face with a truck, which I'll be MORE THAN GLAD to do.

I just really want to beat certain people up. I'm disappointed in myself for making a certain decision and basically welcoming a thief inside my home and telling her to make herself comfy and making tea and lunch for her. Honestly I welcomed hell inside my life willingly because I was stupid. BUT STILL NOT REGRETTING ANYTHING THO.

                                                       Hehehe you fuckers better watch out.

Week 40: Eyyyy Kris waddup

So as you guys know it's been a week since my last post.. And honestly I slightly regret that last post.

After writing that post and jokingly saying I would kick Kris to the galaxy, I found out the news. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, the news thingy-majig.

I have honestly never felt more guilty in my life (no I'm kidding I always feel guilty after I blurt out something that hurt my friends). I felt as though I should've known about this lawsuit, there were signs, and I was really so, so, so stupid not to tell what was going to happen.

Did I know this was going to happen before it was announced? In a way, yes, I did know.

A day before the news was a released, I had a dream... A really weird dream where xxx (I can't tell you guys who it is because if my dream comes true... everybody is going to freak out) from EXO died and I was blaming Kris for it. When I woke up, I felt really odd and tingly but I brushed it off and thought 'oh c'mon girl this ain't one of yo freaky precognition nightmares again I mean c'mon everybody's healthy as a herd of horses there ain't nobody gon die man' (I literally think with so much slang, I'm not kidding) and that dream was a sign. I'm serious. For the rest of the day I felt like something was off but I just ignored it cos like maybe I forgot to brush my teeth exactly 3 times that morning maybe it was 4 times or something so yeah. (I'm kinda OCD when it comes to my daily routines but it's not severe and serious so don't worry)

And I had seen that video where Kris was crying and cheering at the end of a performance and suddenly clutched his heart. I had seen it, but yet again, I was ignorant and brushed it off thinking that his mind was probably like 'damn these feels, my heart is so full of feels for the fans, I can't- I can't, I love you guys man, these feels OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD' and that was why he was clutching his heart.

But if I have to be honest with you guys... before my assumption that it was just feels, I jokingly thought that he reminded me of one of those guys in those dramas that have heart attacks and clutch at their chest desperately when they hear that their daughter-in-law had an affair (lol a million dramas have this plot I swear). I JOKINGLY THOUGHT SO.

In a way I feel like I should've seen the signs, I should've been so much nicer to him in my mind, I should've loved him so much more, I shouldn't have practically cursed him with this fate, I should have done so many things.

But now, let's clear our minds of everything I've revealed on top.

I cannot regret what I've done, because what's the use of regretting? Is that going to turn the clock back to where we first started? And just like everybody says, yolo. You only live once. Am I supposed to regret all this, all these memories Kris has created for us? Am I supposed to regret my actions? No, I'm not supposed to.

These are my thoughts and actions, nobody else's. I cannot, and will not, regret my actions and thoughts. Yes, I agree what I did was wrong, but simply regretting things does not change the course of fate and the future, therefore I do not regret anything.

All I know is that I believe in Kris. No, not 'stay strong Kris', because he's not dying yet. He is still young and I know he'll get through everything. Will believing in Kris change his future? No, it won't, but I'm sure he'll be glad to know that no matter what happens to him, he always has our support. I'll always cheer him on.

And I am terribly sorry at how much I used to dislike him in the past for all the Kray and Krisyeol moments and just forgetting about our poor Tao.

I love that guy. 

I'm not going to regret all those things I wanted to do to him for neglecting Tao. I am going to be glad that I learnt a lesson, that he taught me a lesson I NEVER thought I'd ever learn. I am glad I can brush off all the worries of Krisyeol and Kray. I am glad I have re-newed my trust and faith for him. I am glad that I've learnt this lesson, because I've bounced back stronger than before.

Same goes for this fandom.

Though I don't necessarily like some of the things people are saying about one member or another in this entire thingy-majig, I respect everyone's opinions and I think that's what matters. As long as we believe in each other, or believe in our opinions (if you're hating on a particular member(s)), we'll bounce back stronger than before once everything blows over.

Rain comes before a rainbow. (this is probably the weirdest way of phrasing that sentence-quote thing ever)

So yeah, that's sorta my opinion on this matter.

I want to tell you guys more about my thoughts and stuff, but I know a few fans who say we shouldn't talk about this thing and contribute to the mess and arguments without Kris or SM telling us what exactly happened.

But let me remind you that there are two sides to every coin.

Let that quote bury itself into the depths of your mind, because I want you to know that no matter what Kris, EXO or SM says about this entire ordeal, they are just telling you one side of this story. You'll need to put yourself in everyone's shoes, which is almost impossible unless you're an octopus that has like 13+ feet/legs or something. Yeah.

Mmm that's pretty much the gist of what I wanted to say. I really wish I could tell you guys more but I don't think it'll be right for me to. I know some of you guys can't handle bottling everything up inside you, so if you want, you can tell me your views and opinions on this thing, and if you disagree with what I said in this blogpost, let's chat calmly and come to an agreement or midpoint thing about this entire situation. Let's all just chat and have like one big party or something, because that sounds fun.

Also, I'm a little creeped out that some of you guys are interested in my age. I'm sorry I can't tell you my age, but if you want to, you can go to my ask.fm (link is in the link section of my blog at the right or something) and you can find a picture of me and my sister, and a few photos of my friends, you can guess my age from those pictures. Anyway, I'm somewhere between 13-16. Yup, I'm a young little piece of shit. (Not everybody among those ages are pieces of shit I'm sorry for that but I'M a piece of swaggy crap. Not everybody I know is swaggy crap tho.)

It's nice that you guys are so interested in getting to know me better, but two things I won't reveal are my name and age, but you guys can find out if you go to ask.fm because y'know... My friends and personal info are just there on my wall man. If you're interested, everything you're allowed to know is all there. I'm sorry but I'm not the kind that would... like, idk. Reveal everything about myself, unless you start chatting to me and when I trust you enough I'll tell you what you wanna know if you ask really nicely. 

One last thing.

Just believe in Kris and EXO alright?

Don't doubt them awesome people.

Love you guys and have a great day ahead.

-AdoruZiall xoxo

Week 39: Hold My Hand inspiration

Guuuuys I just read an angsty Taoris and Krisyeol fic do you know the feeeeels

My kokoro is broken into a thousand tiny pieces

And there was a link to Krisyeol proof that I somehow clicked on it and I was raging so hard

Do you know how possessive I am over Kris

If he hurts Tao's dokidoki kokoro I will kick him into the galaxy and pray he gets sucked in by a black hole

haha kidding 

Do you knooooooow how boring holidays are

I don't like holidays

I dread them holidays

I don't want to sleep

I want money

I want a friend

I feel like I'm constantly playing a game in life called 'wheres my friend' because do you know how hard it is for me to contact any of my friends much less go out with them

And then when i go out alone i want to go back home to sulk but it's useless I'm craving starbucks and HOTD S2 that will never come out

I want to watch EXO interviews but I feel like I'll smash the screen into pieces if I see one more Krisyeol interaction after reading that fic

Oh btw Hold My Hand will be updated soon after I'm done with Part 2 which will probably be the last and final part

And it's so sad

You guys might cry or something idk I don't think I've cried over any EXO fics i've written yet but I remember crying while I wrote a few 1D fics

Ohhhhhh snap

No punctuation throughout this whole post I'm sorry

I'm in a shitty and blank mood honestly

Help

AdoruZiall out

Week 38: Of Strawberry Milk Tea and Oh Sehun

Guuuuys I actually uploaded Of Strawberry Milk Tea ermahgahd guys do you understand the importance of this

I actually uploaded something on time

Even though i was late by a week but still.

Considering how often I wait for people, it's about damn time I make people wait for me B)

(No seriously tho I had like 6 meetups with my friends for the previous 4 weeks and ALL 6 TIMES I HAVE TO WAIT FOR LIKE AN HOUR???)

Gee thanks guys real punctual man fucking hell 

BUT ANYWAY.

even though I don't sound like it, I am actually pretty sad right now because a couple is currently trolling me so hard right now, SHIT IS DONE WITH GOOGLE, and I want to flip the bird at several people. Actually, more than 10 people.

I'm more angry than sad but stilllllllll you guys know what this means right

Oh Sefuckinghun dundunduuuuuun

His arc for College Beverage!AU will be written tonight because I'm feeling like him throughout the entire fic right now.

BUT YOU GUYS PROBABLY WON'T SEE IT UNTIL A MONTH AND A HALF LATER LOL DO YOU EVEN SEE HOW MUCH I PROCRASTINATE I'M SORRY.

And I've yet to browse Youtube for the day so I'm sad about that too

But Youtube will make me happy so I'm not going to watch any Youtube vids just so I can do a better job of writing the intro for Sehun's arc of the story T~T I actually really need to get into a shitty mood and lash out at everybody that comes near me before I write his story because it's so depressing and sad 

But I love his story a lot omfg you guys will love it too

But I still Luhan's part of the story best I'm sorry I made him into a jerk man

He's still the twinkly-eyed deer in your hearts, right?

Adios for now!

-AdoruZiall xoxo

Also I can't stand blogs with basic backgrounds and colours, like I know mine might be 20% basic but it's simple and classy so deal with it

Fucking sass man ｡◕‿◕｡

Also ask me a question on my ask . fm if you feel like it cos I'm bored and my newsfeed is not full of my fave people and YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS! 

Week 37: Song Challenge and shiz

Yeaaaah I don't really know what I'm doing in my free time anymoreeeeee bye

1. What song does she/he sing to you when she/he proposes?

Does He Know - One Direction 

(Awwww snap I don't do two-timing tho?? ;-;)

2. What does she/he think after you kiss?

Jeon Won Diary - T-ARA N4

(Wtf he wants to ask me to run away with him to a garden and start dancing and saying 'wae you hating' I mean he needs to have more style obviously)

3. How does your significant other think of you?

SPY- Super Junior

(oh. my. god. I'm a super sexy and attractive spy. I swear. I think I'd know if I were.)

4. What describes your future family?

Pretty Rave Girl - Breathe Carolina

(... I will die if my daughter brings home guys every day and has rave parties in her bedroom. I can't deal with this, I'm sorry.)

5. What do you think of your enemy?

Growl - EXO-K

(HOW THE FUCK SHIT YES THIS IS TRUE I AM REALLY POSSESIVE OVER GUYS THAT DON'T BELONG TO ME AND I LITERALLY GROWL WHENEVER SHE COMES NEAR ME WITH HER BOY TOY (NOT HER BF WTFFF) AND SHIT. JUST, SHIIIIT.)

6. What do you think of your parents?

Mirishira Romeo And Cinderella -Jubyphonic's cover (originally from some nico nico people that decided to make another version of RNC I guess)

(WHY DO I DIE IN THE END.)

7. How does your enemy view you?

Ring Ding Dong - SHInee

(What. What. What. I'm not her lady???? Don't call me, I'll ding your dong. )

8. What will your children be like?

She's Not Afraid - One Direction

(Sneaks out in the middle of the night, wearing tight dresses, walks in and rooms light up. Shit. Shit. Shit. WHY DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH SEXY DAUGHTERS AND RAVE PARTIES?)

9. What does your secret admirer think of you?

Growl - EXO-M

(.... I swear to god I'm not a flirt or a spy. I swear I don't flirt with other guys. Secret admirer, please stop wanting to hide me in your embrace and COME TELL ME. Let's have a fight to settle this lol you gotta growl at me to win the fight bruh)

10. If someone says ‘Are you ok?’ you say?

Dressed Up To Undress - Breathe Carolina

(I rest my case. I am apparently now... a sexy spy that growls and removes clothing at will. Yes, so much yes.)

11. How would you describe yourself?

Heart Attack - EXO-K

(Why. Why. Why. I'm sorry guys but I still haven't seen the eng subs for this yet?? Does this mean I'm going to die??)

12. How are your grades?

I Like It Loud - Cash Cash

(Weeeeeeell... shit. I don't party though???)

13. How will you die?

Goodbye - Secondhand Serenade

(This is creepy.... I WILL SAY GOODBYE AND SAY I'M SORRY BEFORE I SUFFOCATE TO DEATH???)

14. How do you feel today?

Come And Get It - Selena Gomez

(... I wasn't feeling particularly seductive today, but I did want the person who was constantly insulting me under their breath to FUCKING COME TO ME AND FIGHT WITH ME.)(but seriously, don't insult me under your breath THRICE unless you want to fight me.)

15. What is your life purpose?

Let Her Go - Passenger

(My life's purpose is to lose everybody I love?? Gee, thanks.)

16. What do you like in a girl/guy?

Intoxicated - The Cab

(Oh my god. YES. YES. YES. YES. YEEEEEEEEEES.)

17. What’s your motto?

Fire - 2NE1

(Shit guys. WATCH OUT FOR THE FIRE TRUCK COMING THROUGH BEEEEEEEP)

18. What do your friends think of you?

Right Now (Na Na Na) - Punk Goes Pop 3 by Asking Alexandria

(Lol. Lol. TOO BAD GUYS.)

19. What do your parents think of you?

Don't Want To Be Like You - BOTDF

(OOPS TOO BAD.)

20. What do you think about very often?

Maximum - TVXQ

(wHAT)

21. What is 2+2?

Up All Night - One Direction

22. What do you think about your bestfriend(s)?

Black Pearl - EXO-M

(Excuse me while I cry in the corner that my fave song ever is used to describe my non-existent bestfriends because I don't believe in bffs, only good friends -and those are few to count- )

23. What is your love story?

My Life Would Suck Without You - One Direction

(Awww that's actually pretty sweet!)

24. What do you think when you see the person you like?

Diamonds - Rihanna

(YES. YES. YES. TAO LIGHTS UP THE GALAXY OF KRIS LIKE NOBODY ELSE. SMILE AT THE GROUND. DO WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING NOW.)

25. What do you wanna be when you grow up?

Machine - EXO-K

(The accuracy is atrocious. My second fave song describing about cold gray eyes and a heart that cannot love. Eyes that cannot shed tears and look so lifeless. THANK YOU PLAYLIST.)

26. What will you dance at your wedding?

Want U Back - Cher Lloyd

(O...kay. DON'T CHEAT ON ME YOU LIL SHIT I'LL BEAT YOU UP I SWEAR)

27. What will they play at your funeral?

History - EXO-K

(.... SHIT DON'T WHAT WHERE WHAT SERIOUSLY I WANT TO BE THERE AND DANCE. TO MY OWN FUNERAL SONG. SHIT.)

28. What do you think of your parents?

Miss Movin On -Fifth Harmony

(oooooooh snap hells yeah hells yeah I'm not the way I used to be they killed me but I survived now I'm coming alive I'll never be that girl again nooooo I'll never be that girl again ohhhhhhh my innocence is wearing thin but my heart is goin strong hells yeah hells YEAH.)

29. What is your hobby/interest?

My Turn To Cry - EXO-M

(Yeah definitely I DON'T CRY IN MY SPARE TIME OKAY GUYS SERIOUSLY)

30. What is your biggest fear?

Yuragi - Stella (Nico nico chorus)

(ohh shit. this is true though.)

31. What is your biggest secret?

Need You Now - Punk Goes Pop 3 (Sparks The Rescue)

32. What do you want right now?

Growl - EXO (K in my left ear and M in my right ear)

(So like... Growl appeared three times. I... honestly do want to growl though because I'm very angry right now at many people and at life.... EURONGIE BITCHES.)

--

All in all

I found out I'm going to have a really weird lover, a dysfunctional daughter (that I will pamper), and that I have a very sad life.

Wow.

Wow.

Much wow.

I'm sorry guys I'm really upset right now but like how am I even gonna be upset WHEN TAO'S BIRTHDAY IS ON FRIDAY SHIT

SHIT

I HAVEN'T FINISHED TYPING ALL MY TAO FICS YET

SHIT

GUYS

SHIT

SORRY NOT SORRY FOR THE CAPS.

Also i will go watch the subbed video of Heart Attack after this. I'm sorry.

xoxo

-AdoruZiall

(I actually wanted to draft this lol but i posted this because it's hilarious to me and idk man idk if i'm gonna update on Tao's birthday i want to but idk if i can i just really don't feel very happy right now to write fics and shizz. yeah.)

Week 36: I MISSED THIS AHA

Excuse my pathetic lateness in posting week 36 lmao I fucking hate myself.

But like, really man, I don't even understand how Week 36 slipped my mind??? I blame my air sign for this.

(Yixing should blame his air sign too bc we libras have to deal with this bULLSHIT CONSTANTLY I DON'T-)

Also nothing much happened during week 36 though I wrote like 1/2 of the Taoris story for College Beverage!AU on a Saturday morning and my brain wasn't even working lol I'm sorry that the entire story is bullshit and makes no sense whatsoever.

I'll update on Week 37 on Friday, Tao's birthday!! ヽ(；▽；)ノ

(Lieeeeees I will probably forget his birthday like I forgot my own)

So that's it for this really late, shitty, stupid, boring update like sigh why am I constantly downgrading myself I don't understand this logic of mine even

xoxo

-AdoruZiall

Week 35: Bias Quiz

Ahahaha OTL to make up for the lack of updates for my stories I decided to do a bias quiz for the heck of it?  (｡´∀｀)ﾉ

I stole took this from luluhunnie on AFF (thanks for accepting my lame friend request ´；ω；`) because I wanted to clear my notifications and I saw this and I wanted to do this too because I am curious to know who my biases are even bored.

 List ten biases in no particular order, then answer questions. 

1. Tao

2. Niall

3. Yixing

4. Sehun

5. Zayn

6. Jiyeon

7.  Chen

8. Yura

9. Minseok

10. Suho

Q1. Who is the better dancer between 6 and 10?
 Between Jiyeon (T-ARA) and Suho...? Probably Jiyeon. I'm sorry Suho I still love you. ヽ(´▽｀)ノ

Q2. Does 5 happen to look like someone you know in real life/ remind you of someone in real life?
My eyecandy in school... He looks almost exactly like Zayn and his hobbies and character are 90% alike to Zayn. He's even got the fiance girlfriend too. /OTL I'M BETTER OFF SINGLE HAH/

Q3. Amongst 3, 7 and 8. Who would you fuck, who would you marry, and who would you date and why?
3. Yixing, 7. Chen, 8. Yura (Girl's Day)
Well... This is awkward. I'd marry Yixing and date Chen but I wouldn't fuck Yura...? I'm sorry but I'd totally be friends with her and stuff.

Q4. What if 1 and 9 are in a relationship?
1. Tao, 9. Minseok
YES YES YES SO MUCH YESSSSSS /points to interview where Tao said he used to hug Minseok once every single week on their respective beds/ I SHIP. I SHIP. PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR IF YOU SHIP TAOMIN. XiuTao? MinTao? MINTY.

Q5. What do 2 and 4 have in common?
2. Niall (One Direction), 4. Sehun.
Both of them are born in the same year (I think) and both of them are fineeeeee men.

Q6. If 6 and 8 were kidnapped by 3, who would do a better job of saving 6 and 8? You or 5?
6. Jiyeon, 8. Yura, 3. Yixing, 5. Zayn.
Yixing kidnapping someone...? Ahah, can't imagine that happening. In this case, Zayn would do a good job rescuing people and shit but since both me and Yixing are Libras who happen to born under the element air... We're both airheaded clumsy and I'm sure I can rescue the girls because Yixing will mess up in tying the ropes tight or something. 

Q7. How did you come to like 10?
He was too adorable for me to resist, I swear. I started liking him when I saw SuTao in a variety show and I really liked how he cared for Tao because TAO NEEDS SOME LOVIN' OKAY and then somewhere along the way I fell for his soothing voice and I listen to him talking when I'm having my bad days, too much personal info bYE.

Q8. Sexiest person in this list that comes to your mind immediately?

Either Tao or Zayn, I really can't decide OTL do I really have to choose?? I mean, look at all this perfection in one post.

Q9. Amongst these 10 people, if you had to choose one of them to be your father, mother, brother and best friend who would you choose?
Father: Suho because he'll spoil me  ｡◕‿◕｡
Mother: Jiyeon because she'll tell me to ignore all the haters and I would love to have her pick out my closet daily
Brother: Zayn because he's a hot piece of ass and I'd sure as hell love to beat up anyone who tells me they like my brother 
Best Friend: Chen because he's just absolutely amazing. I'd make him sing to me everyday and pull pranks on people with him.

Q10. Do you have a OTP in this list? 
Ziall because Kris isn't in the list (ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ

Q11. If you were told to choose between 9 and 6?
6. Jiyeon, 9. Minseok
I'd choose Minseok /I have no regrets/

Q12. If you were told to choose between 3 and 7?
3. Yixing, 7. Chen
EXCUSE ME THEY ARE A PACKAGE DEAL I SHIP THEM TOGETHER I CAN'T

Q13. If you were told to choose between 8 and 5?
5. Zayn, 8. Yura
I'd choose Yura...? Zayn belongs to Niall ahah （=´∇｀=）

Q14. Worst personality out of the 10? Be honest, not everyone is a saint or angel after all.
Zayn is hot-tempered because he's a hot piece of ass so that's that. I'm sorry Zayn I love you.

Q15. If 1 and 2 got into a relationship with a girl, which one would you be more jealous over?
1. Tao, 2. Niall /HIDES ANGRILY INTO A BALL/ 
BOTH. I JUST CAN'T, BOTH. I want Tao to be happy because it seems like he and Kris has a rocky relationship (but doesn't everyone) and I want someone, anyone, to make him as happy as he deserves to be but COME ON HE'S OBVIOUSLY PRETTY AND HIS GF WILL WANT TO SHOOT HIM AND STEAL HIS FACE SO-
Niall belongs to Zayn and Liam. That's all I'm gonna say. /rolls away/

Q16. If 4 wasn't a celebrity and wasn't famous and you passed by him/her in the streets, would you notice him/her?
4. Notice him?! Of course I would! I'd die a little inside because he's so blindingly amazing up close and I'd definitely develop a little crush on him and then I'd be all sad and mopey coz I might never see him again and just, you know ;^;

 Q17. If you were to take number 5 and try to pair him/her up with his/her group members on this list (if its a solo, then someone else from the list), which one of them would be the most unlikely to be paired up with 5?
5. Zayn
I ship Zayn and Niall already aha.
I guess it'd be Tao? They're personalities would clash and fights would happen (but the second possible thing that'd happen is that they share beauty secrets and fangirl over themselves and take tons of photos together bc SWAG.)

Q18. First name on this list that comes to mind when you hear, 'badass'?
I thought of Yixing???? My brain is weird like that.

Q19. Which group in the list would number 2 most likely be a fan of if he/she wasn't a celebrity and was a Kpop fan? And what kind of fangirl/boy reactions would this person have?
2. Niall
Chen because they both are humorous and they both have the worlds most beautiful laugh and I think Niall would laugh at EVERYTHING Chen says. 

Q20. Could you ship your best friend with 7?
Best friend, where??? Possibly yeah, I think I'd ship Chen with my best friend (she's more like a... distant sister to contact... yeah.)

And that's that. All 20 questions, BAM!

Lmao look at this word vomit I'm sorry guys.

Take care!

-AdoruZiall xoxo